The Fellowship VS Klein Oak HS
by hobbitgirls
Summary: The fellowship, us, our friends, and rabid fan girls! Oh the insanity of the fellowship in our school! He he he. Just read, it'll make sense as you read on.
1. Default Chapter

**The Fellowship VS. ****Klein Oak HS**** Chapter**** 1**

**A/N**: We just couldn't stay away.  You give me a spiral and I will write. It's like if you give a mouse a cookie except I'm not a mouse. OK? This is my chapter and my universe! Mwahaha! Not really, but who cares? Well, read on because there's a lot more to come! **Vanessa's POV.** BTW, this is a stand-alone fic, so the fellowship does not know about us yet.

**Disclaimer:** I own me, Christy, my cd and it's player. I also own this cool little Barbi my grandma gave me, but I won't go into that right now.

Legolas: Go on; I'm intrigued.

Me: No, I really don't feel like it.

Haldir: Pwease?

Me: Nope!

Legolas: Does she have nicer hair than me?

Me: Yes.

Legolas: No!! Must...go...wash hair!! *Runs off*

Me: He's a weird one.

Haldir: I could have told you that.

Legolas: Who stole my Herbal Essences?!

Me: *Nervous Chuckle* Um…Haldir, you wanna go get a burger?

Haldir: Can I have a cookie too?  
Me: Whatever. What is it with you elves and cookies?

Haldir: It's an elf thing; you wouldn't understand.

In Moria- 

"Pull my finger," Gandalf said to young Peregrin.

Pippin looked apprehensively at Merry. "Go on, do it!" his cousin egged him on.

"Merry, you know what happened last time that happened," Boromir said.

"Enlighten me," Merry replied.

"He blew up half of Gondor! For the love of the Havens, Peregrin, do not pull that finger!"

"Well…" Pippin said and the fellowship, save Gandalf, let out a sigh of relief. "NOT!" Pippin shouted and pulled the wizard's finger.

A loud, horn-like sound emitted from the Istari. "Haha! Fools! Do it again!"

"NO!" everyone screamed at Pippin.

"Too bad, guys!" Pippin laughed and yanked Gandalf's finger again.

This time, instead of the horn sound, there was a flash of yellow light and everyone zonked out temporarily. 

Aragorn was the first to come back to his senses. "What the…?" he asked, looking down at his feet. "I stepped in an animal pie!"

One-by-one the fellowship came back to their wits.

"Where are we?" Frodo asked.

"It looks like a field of some sort," Boromir said. "What on Middle-Earth is that?!" He pointed at a cow, but the fellowship didn't know what a cow was.

"Lets get out of here and find some shelter," Gimli complained.

"He's right. We need to find a place to set out camp," Legolas agreed.

"We could always go there," Merry said and pointed at a large, brown building.

"Well done, Meriadoc," Gandalf said and patted the hobbit's shoulder.

As the fellowship walked closer, they saw a sign. It read: "Klein Oak High School".

"High school?" Legolas asked.

"Let's go in. I'm sure we'll find a warm place to stay the night," Sam said.

_~~*~~_

In Houston, Texas- 

"Look, I'm sorry I picked you up late," I said to my best friend, Christy who was pouting in the front seat. "It's not MY fault I got stuck in traffic."

"Yes it is."

"Do you want a ride or not? All I'm saying is- whoa!" I hit the brakes on my car. There was a crowd of people standing in the middle of the street. "Hey!" I honked the horn. "Move it!"

Christy was looking at me as if I were crazy or something.

"What? Should I give them the finger?"

"Do you know who you almost ran over?!"

"No." I took a closer look at the people. "Oh…my…frickin' …cow! I've died and gone to heaven!"

**A/N**: Alrighty people! So, how did you like it? I personally thought the Moria part was pure genius, but that's just me. Tell us what YOU think. Go…Christy!


	2. They Gave Me a Suburban!

**Chapter 2**

**A/N:** OK, I've come to the conclusion the Biology is dumb and evil. We just spent 3 class periods watching a movie about Charles Darwin. BORING! Well, now the fun part…ohh…the fellowship! **Christy's POV.**

**Disclaimer**: I think you know that we don not own anything good.

Legolas: Am I good?

Me: Ye- uh, no you're not. You are not good, therefore I own you.

Haldir: What about me? Am I good?

Me: Hmm…I don't know. You always seem to turn your work in on time and you're always tidy…

Haldir: No! I'm not tidy! I'm bad! Bad to the bone!

Me: Sure…

Haldir: Mwahaha! I'm going to take over the universe!

Legolas and Me: Right…

Vanessa stopped the car so she could get out and harass poor Pippin. "Wait," she said. "Why are they here?"

"I don't know," I answered her question, "but I say we ask them and find out. But do NOT jump Pippin; we don't want to scare them. In that case, you should stay in the car."

"Haha. Very funny" she said, rolling her eyes. "If I can't jump Pippin, you can't jump Merry."

"I have something called self-control, unlike you," I told her, getting out of the car.

"Look! A lady!" Merry exclaimed as he saw me.

"Don't know where he gets that idea," Vanessa grumbled.

"And another!" Pippin added.

"Good day, ladies," said Legolas, kissing our hands.

"Uh-oh," I whispered to Vanessa. "Kits is gonna be mad; we met Leggo-boi and she hasn't." I'm sure Legolas heard the comment but didn't care to know. 

"Uh, hi!" Vanessa said brightly. "Umm…what are you doing here?" The fellowship looked at each other and Gandalf answered. "Well, we don't exactly know how we got here. Peregrin, here, pulled my finger and well, here we are!"

"Great. So now that we've established that they have no clue where they are and what they're doing here, what're we gonna do?" I asked Vanessa, looking at my watch. "It's almost time for school to start."

"School?" asked Boromir. "I don't like the sound of that."

"Aye, it sounds like some form of torture," Gimli agreed.

"It _is a form of torture that is forced upon us 5 times a week," Vanessa and I informed them._

"By whom?" asked Sam.

"By the evil lord, Sauron?" Frodo asked, looking like a deer in the headlights.

"No, at least I don't think so," Vanessa answered. "Although, that _could be."_

"Vanessa," I said urgently, "what are we going to do with them?"

"I guess we take them to school with us," she answered smiling.

"Do we have to?" Strider asked apprehensively, looking at the big, brown building with a new found sense of dread. "I prefer _not_ to be tortured when I can avoid it."

Oh, come on!" I laughed. "Let's go before we're tardy, Nessa. Everyone in the car! I'm glad it was your turn to drive, Vanessa. I don't think everyone would have fit inside my Mustang. You're Suburban is nice and roomy."

**A/N:** Ok, I know I didn't do much, but I had a test. Nighty-night. Oh, wait, I can't sleep. Stupid teacher won't let me. Darn.

**A/N2** **(Vanessa): Arg! I still have one more day of school! Stupid Christy though had her last day today. Oh, and BTW, I don not own a Suburban. I'm 14, I don't drive, and neither does Christy. Why does she supposedly get the cool car? NOT FAIR! Grr… Anyway, that's the second chapter; I hope you enjoyed it! Oh, and don't for get to review.**


	3. Table For Three Please!

**Chapter 3**

**A/N**: Good chappie, Christy. I'm trying to upload Elissa but it's being slow. So I'm writing while I wait. BTW, Daniel is evil. Not that you guys even know who he is, but I just thought I'd let you know. **Vanessa's POV.**

**Disclaimer:** I really don't feel like putting one up right now. I had a bad day. Besides, I think you know by now that NO we don't own them.

Legolas: Can I make your day any better?

Me: Not unless you can make Vincent stop calling me.

Haldir: I don't think even Sauroman's Uruk-hai army can stop that.

Me: You don't know how right you are.

We all piled into my Suburban and preceded the rest of the way to school. "Are we going to enroll them or what?" I asked. "The hobbits don't look much like high school students and everyone else is way too old looking. No offense guys," I added, looking at their sharp, pointy swords and quiver full of arrows.

"Umm…maybe the older guys could pretend to be like some of those guys who review teachers, and the hobbits could be visiting junior high students."

"Good idea," I said. "We'll have to get them name tags though so it looks believable."

We pulled into our parking space and headed towards the school. "Christy, how about I take half of the guys with me now and we can switch off after third period. Is that OK?"

"Fine with me. Do you want me to go in and get the badges?"

"Yeah; I don't think Mrs. Es-something wants to see me right now. You um...know why."

"Oh, that's right. I forgot about that."

"What? What? Tell me!" Pippin said excitedly.

"No! Don't! Christy, don't even think about it."

"Alright," she said, but winked at the hobbits when she thought I wasn't looking.

She went into the office and returned with visitor passes for everyone. "OK, I'll take Merry, Legolas, Gandalf, Frodo, and Sam. You take Pippin, Aragorn, Boromir, and Gimli. Then, we'll switch off after lunch."  
"OK. Come on you guys who are coming with me. We're off to World Geography," I said, ushering the men up the stairs. "See you later Christy!"

We walked into Coach Bloodworth's room and he was at his computer laughing at the screen. Will I ever find out what? He looked up at us. "Why are you late? And who are they?"

"Um…Am I late? I didn't know. These guys are here to rate your teaching abilities."

"Oh. Well, than, have a seat Vanessa."

I sat in my seat and the guys followed me. "No, go sit at the table over there."

There were only 3 chairs at the table and Boromir was the last to arrive. No one would give up their seat so he expertly whipped out his sword.

"No!" I screamed and ran over to the four quarreling guys. "No weapons in school, OK? Put it back." By now the entire class was staring at me. I laughed nervously. "Go back to teaching, it's OK." I went back to my seat, red from embarrassment.

Class ended and I met up with Christy at our lockers. "These guys sure require a lot of maintenance!" I whined. "Pin cushion-boi over there, whipped out his sword in the middle of class!"

"I know! Leggy had to bring out his bow to keep all the fan girls off."

"Oh no! I have Coach T next period!" I began hitting my head against my locker.

"Is everything well, milady?" Legolas asked, running up to me.

"Um…yeah. You guys ready to be tortured by the foulest creature in the school?"

At this the guys put on a look of sheer terror. "No."

"It'll be OK. Don't worry. Besides, if he annoys you, just take out you shiny little sword or bow and kill him. You'd be the hero."

One hour later…

"I hate that faulker!" I screamed as we walked out of his room.

"I don't know," Gimli said thoughtfully. "I kind of liked his lecture on ionic bonds."

"Shut up," I glared at him.

**A/N**: Sorry this chappie sux. It's too short but I really don't give a flip. Oh, and happy birthday Christy! Hey, if there is anybody reading this, would you mind dropping a review? It makes me what to actually type this. Plus, I just want to know how we're doing so far. Thanks!


	4. English Class of Doom

Chapter 4 

**A/N**: Pretty good chappie, Vanessa. One note though: I don't want Gaydalf next to me! Anyway, the Alex in this chapter is my friend Alex, not my crush.

**A/N2**: Well, here's Christy's POV, I have this song by Avril Lavigne stuck in my head. It's called "Things I'll Never Say" and it's pretty good. Download it if you want to.

**Disclaimer:** Ah...yes, the ever-popular disclaimer. Well, no, we do not own them (by them I mean the characters that belong to the almighty God Tolkien). It's sad when you think about it.

Legolas: Ha! You will never get me!

Me: Don't be so sure about that buddy!

Haldir: I'm too sexy for you to catch.

Me: You may be sexy but I'm a pretty fast runner.

Legolas: Yeah, sure, and I'm an orc.

Me: You do have the pointy ears and greasy hair…

Legolas: My hair! What? No! *Runs away to wash hair again*****

Me: So, Haldir, you want a cookie?

Haldir: OK!

Legolas (from far away): Me too!

Me: Come out of the bathroom then.

Legolas: I'm naked though…

Me: I'm sure the reviewer and I won't mind!

Haldir: I would!

Me: Shut up, Sparky.

Earlier, while Vanessa was "enjoying" Coach T's class-

I received a few funny looks when I ushered 3 hobbits, an elf, and a wizard into my English class. The funniest one probably came from my guy friend, Alex, whom I sit next to in second period (English). 

"Who? What?" he started to ask.

"Don't ask- long story," I replied, showing the guys where they could sit. Conveniently, for me at least, Merry sat in front of Alex, whom I sit next to and talk to all period.

"Hello, I asked you a question," Alex said, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Huh? Oh, what?" I asked, coming out of my reverie. I had been staring at Merry thinking, "I want! I want! I WANT!" A/N: I really was thinking that yesterday when my friends (A/N2: Yes, a couple of our friends and I took Christy) took me to go see TTT again for my birthday. You know those close up shots of Dom when he's yelling at the Ents? I was jumping in my seat. Just ask Vanessa.) (A/N2: Yeah, I was the unfortunate one who sat next to her. She kept hitting me too)

"I asked you, 'are you ready for the Count of Monte Cristo test tomorrow?'" he told me.

"Yeah," I said slowly. "I think so anyways."

He leaned in closer to me. "Stop staring at the midget," he teased.

"Whatever, you're just jealous," I whispered back and turned to check on the others. Legolas had an amused look on his face.

_"Oh no!" _I thought. _He heard that! Great!"_ Just then the bell rang. "Oh thank God!" I said. "Wait, everyone, Alex is really slow." I winked at Merry as Alex threw me a dirty look.

At the lockers-

"Vanessa, this is defiantly an interesting day!" I told her while hefting my biology book out of my locker.

"Tell me about it! Gimli actually enjoyed Coach Electron's lecture! I just spent the entire period staring at Pippin. He is HOTT when he's confused!" I heard Legolas start chuckling as he figured out Vanessa's and my crushes, Pippin and Merry respectively.

"What? What?!" the hobbits demanded to know.

_"Oh, great. He better not,"_ I thought.

After Vanessa and I split up, Merry came over to me and grabbed my hand.

"Hello, Merry," I greeted him and smiled.

"Hullo, Christy. I have a question for you," he said, turning a bit red.

"Shoot," I told him.

"Legolas said that you liked me. Is that true?"

"I'm gonna kill that elf!" I said, giving him the evil eye. "But yes, I do like you."

"That's good, cuz I like you too," he told me as we entered the classroom.

After Biology-

"I'm confused," Sam stated. "Who's this Darwin guy he's talking about?"

"Don't get me started," I answered.

"OK, I won't," he replied.

"Thanks. Hey, Nessie!" I greeted my friend at the lockers, yet again. "I don't want to trade. I wanna keep Merry with me all day."

"I wanna keep Pip with me all day so we'll just trade off everyone else."

"Thank you," I told her. "Hey, I wonder what Gill'll do when she sees Legolas. No, wait, forget Gill, what'll Kits do?" (A/N2: Mrs. Gill is the yearbook teacher. She's like, 32. We just call her Gill because she says she too young to be called Mrs., even though she's married.)

A/N: What will Kitty do to the poor elf? Take it away Nessie!


	5. Freezer Burn

Chapter 5

A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. It was _crazy_ when my mom came back into town. I loved Legolas' look of amusement! I kept thinking he looks so sexy! It's really a nice look for him. Anyway, I'm just bangin' this out before I have to go to bed. Oh, and I'm so happy because Daniel asked me to the movies tomorrow! Eee!!

Disclaimer: I'm too tired to write this.

Haldir: So does that mean you can't stay up and make sweet love to me all night?

Me: I never said I was THAT tired! ^_^

Legolas: That's dirty.

Me: So?

Haldir: So?

Me: Are you copying me?

Haldir: No.

Me: Right…

Legolas: He wants you!

Me: Don't say that, you sound like Steve-o.

Haldir (defensively): And who is this "Steve-o"?

Me: Let me put I this way: have you ever had a smell that just doesn't want to go away?

Legolas and Haldir: Yes.

Me: That's Steve-o.

"I'm glad my mom insists that I put so much money in my account," I said as we entered the cafeteria. "Otherwise I don't think we could have paid for all of them."

"Yeah. I don't have much money with me today and Kits never brings any."

"I hope she doesn't hurt Leggo-boi _too_ much," I said, looking nervously at the elf.

"I don't care what she does to him; I'm still mad at him for telling Merry that I liked him."

"He did?! Oh no! He's going to tell Pip! Not if I can help it!" I turned and shot Legolas a dirty look. He immediately stopped inching towards Pippin and put on an evil look. "No! Don't you dare! I won't buy lunch for you."

"I don't need to eat," he replied. "Peregrin," he began pleasantly, "did you know-"

He was cut short by a loud squeal. "Legolas!!!"

"Oh joy," I said sarcastically. "At least she can deal with him for a while. But he's probably going to tell him during fourth period."

"Oh well," Christy replied. "Nothing bad can happen really."

"Oh no! Not another fan girl!" Legolas cried. He ran and hid behind Aragorn. (Swoon)

"Oh yes," I said and grinned evilly. "I might be able to help though."

Kitty ran up to Aragorn, pushed him out of the way and pulled Legolas to her. She sighed happily.

"Help…can't breathe…" he said in between gasps for breath. He squirmed around wildly trying to remove himself from Kitty's grasp.

"Stop it," she scolded him and hugged him even harder.

"Vanessa, please, help me!" Legolas cried as he wriggled himself from Kitty's arms.

"Oh alright. Come on," I said and ran into one of the lunch lines. He followed closely and more fan girlish screams were heard as more girls caught sight of the tall elf running through the lunch room. "In here," I said and climbed over the counter and into the freezer. "Stay here."

I walked out and back to the fellowship. When I emerged from the lunch line there were at least 20 girls standing there, waiting for the prince to return.

I walked back to our table and sat down next to Pippin who had saved me a seat. Isn't he nice?

I smiled. "What did you do with him?" Aragorn asked suspiciously, looked concerned.

"Oh nothing; killing two birds with one stone is all. I took care of my little 'problem', and I saved him the wrath of the fan girls."

Christy looked at me skeptically. "Where is he?"

"He's safe…in the freezer," I added with a wicked grin.

"No!!!" Kitty whined. "Get him out! Get him out!"

"He's a frickin' elf for cryin' out loud! He can't even _feel the cold!"_

"So," she pouted.

"Oh alright! I'll get him," I got up and mumbled something I was glad Kits didn't hear. 

I opened the freezer and looked at the elf standing before me. He was stuffing his face full of ice cream.

"I like this 'Rocky Road'," he said as he scooped another handful of ice cream from the carton and shoved it in his mouth.

"Come on," I said. "Kitty made me come and get you." He dropped his Popsicle and looked utterly terrified. "It'll be OK; Aragon will be there," I coaxed.

"Like he was earlier? No way."

"Come on. Please?" I begged. He shook his little golden head. "I'll buy you an ice cream…"

"Rocky Road?"

"Vanilla."

"Nope."

"Fine! I'll buy you a Rocky Road."

_~~*~~_

"Woo!" I exclaimed as we sat down at the table again. "That was fun!" I looked at Legolas. His face was white and his tunic was torn where someone had made a grab for him.

"For whom?" he asked angrily.

"I dunno. At least I got a work out." He hmphed. "Should we get these guys some food?"

"Yeah! I'm so hungry," Pippin said.

"Alright. You only get what I can afford though." We bought their lunches and headed back to eat.

8 minutes later the bell rang to be dismissed to forth period. "Come on whoever's coming with me," I called.

"No! I'm not done eating yet!" Merry whined.

"It's OK. They don't care whether you eat or not, but we have to go. I don't want to be tardy."

We were all walking down the junior hallway towards our classes. Kitty was eying Legolas and he was trying to get closer to Pippin. Just then, my friend John came and jumped on my back. I stumbled not being used to the added weight. "Hi John," I mumbled.

Pippin looked at my friend loathingly. I saw this and quickly let go of John. "Let's go guys."

A/N: Sorry it's so crappy. But that was all I could come up with. I hope you guys enjoyed the Leggo-boi n the freezer part; it was my fav. Anyway, do you see that little button down there that says 'go!'? Why don't you push that and become my bestest friend? Well, unless you flame it. Because if you do, I'll send my attack hobbit out on you. He hasn't attacked anyone in a while so he's getting a little antsy… ^_^


	6. Husbands and Geometry

**Chapter 6**

**A/N**: Um…can't think right now; TAKS killed my brain! Count of Monte Cristo is a good book, FYI. Anyway, on with the story!

**A/N2:** Nothing much to say. Why isn't anybody reviewing this? It's pretty good in my opinion.

**Disclaimer**: We do not own anything of Tolkien's. We are just borrowing them.

Legolas: You mean STEALING!

Me: We are not stealing you; we're using you.

Haldir: Oh, so that's how it goes, huh? I give you my time and energy and this is how you repay me?! By using me?! Oh, the pain is too much.

Me: I'm not using you, baby. Sheesh, you elves take things way too seriously.

Legolas: Yeah? Well, you humans smell.

Haldir: And, you have bad hair.

Me: Just because I don't have an eternity to spend making my hair look like a GIRL doesn't mean it looks bad.

Legolas: Are you inferring that I have hair like a girl?

Me: Yes.

Legolas: What?! I…I…need to go wash my hair.

Haldir: I'll join you!

Me: *clears throat* That's not right.

Haldir: You have a dirty mind!

Me: It comes with being a human. You get used to it.

(Wow that really sucked. Sorry.)

"Come on, Kitty! We're going to be late!" I complained, trying to pry her off of Legolas.

"But…but…I don't want to leave my husband! He'll get lonely!" she whined.

"I will?" Legolas asked, surprised. "And when did I become your husband?!"

"Well, you were a little tipsy at the time…I guess you're not supposed to mix drugs and alcohol! (J/J Kits isn't like that, but she told me to put it in here anyway)" she grinned.

Finally, we got Kitty away from him. (We had to use the Jaws of Life!) "See ya later!" I told her as I walked into *dum-dum-dum* (the evil) geometry.

"Where are we going to sit?" Aragorn asked.

"Um…there's one seat behind me, Merry can have that one, and there's some chairs you guys can sit in."

"Fine, sounds good to me," Boromir said, making sure he had a chair this time.

"Y'all can just sleep if you want, everyone else does. Just make sure you don't snore loud," I instructed them.

"In that case, Master Dwarf, do not sleep," Aragorn said, winking at me. I smiled back, but stopped when Merry gave Strider a dark look.

_"Somebody's jealous,"_ I thought to myself and allowed myself a small grin. Then someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was Merry.

"Are you going to use your 'letter jacket'?" he asked me.

"No, why?"

"Could I use it? I'm tired."

"Sure," I said, handing it to him. Soon I heard soft snoring from behind me. _"Aww…how cute," I thought._

"Remember in a 45, 45, 90 (degrees) triangle it's 'x', 'x', 'x' and x√2. in a 30, 60, 90 triangle, it's 'x', 'x√3', and '2x'," Mrs. Christian droned on and on.

"I do not understand all of this fuss over triangles. And what does 'x' mean?" Aragorn whispered.

"I don't know why we have to learn about them either. 'X' just means any number; it can be 2, 4, 6, 8 (who do we appreciate?!) or whatever. This class is just pure evil and serves no purpose," I answered.

"Basically like elves," Gimli muttered. The men and I just shot him looks. "I was only joking!" he defended himself.

"Whatever!" I said just as the bell rang. "Wake up, Merry. It's time to go to band. Yay!" I said, being facetiously happy.

"What is 'band'?" Merry asked.

"To most, it's torture. It is a bunch of kids playing instruments that some can't play very well. I, on the other hand, play my clarinet perfectly," I informed the guys. "So you might want to cover your ears. I'm just joking. We sound pretty good…for the most part," I finished under my breath.

**A/N**: It sucked I know, but I still have writers block. Sorry. Here you go Nessa; but remember, NO DARKROOM!

**A/N2**: Christy, you never let me have any fun! He he he. Well, that's it for this chapter. The one you've all been waiting for is up next…MINE! So hit that little button on the bottom and drop us a review if you want the next chapter. He he he, I am so evil!


	7. Gill Trouble

**Chapter 7**

**A/N**: 40 minutes left in class. Why?! Why must they torture me so? Waahhh!!! I'm over it. On with the story. 

**Disclaimer**: We do not own anything of Tolkien's. But we do our own bottle of chocolate syrup!

Legolas: Mmm…chocolate syrup…can I have some?

Me: Nope.

Haldir: What about me? 

Me: Ok…*grins evilly* Follow me…

Legolas: Can I at least have a cookie?!

Me: *Tosses chocolate-chip cookie out of bedroom*

Legolas: Thank you!

"English…too boring…uhh…" I said trying to keep myself awake. My teacher was reading aloud to the class Lord of the Flies. "Somebody…please…shot me…" I saw Legolas reach for his bow. "No! Wait, don't do it!"

He smiled evilly. "But you said…" he said innocently. He was sitting next to me and gave me this look that I just couldn't help but smile at.

"Oh, I can't stay mad at you!" I gave him a hug.

My teacher happened to look up right at that moment though. "Vanessa, this is neither the time nor place for that." The whole class turned around and stared. I blushed furiously.

Pippin, who was sitting in front of me, gave the elf a look of loathing. (You have to understand, I sit all by myself in English. There really is no one to my right or in front of me) "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing; just looking." He continued to stare at Legolas (not like that!) who shifted uncomfortably.

Just then, the bell rang to be dismissed to fifth period. "Yea!" I cried, jumping from my seat. "Time to go to yearbook!" 

Gandalf complained loudly about not wanting to go and that he wanted to stay. "I want to find out what happens to Piggy!"

"He died! Weren't you listening? He fell off the cliff, stuff came pouring out of his head, and his body went out to the sea. Happy?"

"That's quite morbid, isn't it?" Frodo asked and made a disgusted face. (Aww…don't you just love these faces I make the guys do?)

"Come on guys, you have to meet Gill." I led them down the hall and into 'Da Room'. "Here we are. Pick any seat you want, there are no seating arrangements in this class." They all chose seats next to me. I felt so loved!

Just then, Gill, the advisor, walked in. She's only about 35 years old and she still gets mistaken for a student. She caught sight of the guys sitting around me. He eyes zoomed in on Legolas and her eyes widened. "Ahh!! Andrea, get out here!"

My editor, Andrea, ran out and stared. "Oh. My. God…It's the hott elf from that movie you dragged me to see!"

Legolas blushed at being called 'hott' and turned away.

"Now, Gill. Don't do anything to him, he's only visiting…" I said. She was slowly walking towards him, hands outstretched. "Run, Leggy! Run!" I screamed at him when Mrs. Gill was but a few feet from him.

"No!!!" she screamed and chased after him. I chuckled. "Come back! You have nice abs!!"

"She's so funny!" The others were staring open-mouthed at me. "What?"

Sam was the first to speak up. "Aren't you going to help him?"

"Hmm…no. He'll be OK, he's an elf. And besides, Gill wouldn't hurt a fly."

5 minutes later, Legolas returned looking quite happy with himself. Gill was nowhere to be seen.

"What did you do to her?" I asked.

"Nothing." I stared unbelieving. "OK, OK. I tied her up and put her in a room labeled 'Darkroom'."

"Oh. Get her out!!!" I then screamed.

"I'll help," Pippin said.

"Aww…thank you," I said, giving him a hug. He looked over at the elf and smiled. "Come on, let's go rescue Gill."

It took a while to get Mrs. Gill undone for I didn't know how to untie an elvish knot.  Legolas was of no help and stood there laughing. 20 minutes later she was free from the ropes and stormed off. She mumbled something about calling her husband.

The bell rang to be dismissed to sixth period. "Oh no! Spanish…with Steve-o! Maybe Christy will loan me Strider to protect me."

**A/N**: He he. Sorry it sucked, but it was a crappie day. Do you see that little button down there at the bottom that says 'Go!'? Well, it's directed to my pet dragon named Bob and he takes all of my messages. If you would like to talk with Bob, push the button and talk with my Magic Dragon! Whoa, that sounds funny! Go…Christy!


	8. I'm With Da Band

**Chapter 8:**

**A/N:** Geometry is so boring. In this chapter I get revenge (Vanessa called Dom a 'faggot' therefore Gimli has to kiss her!). On with the story!

**A/N2**: Surprisingly, I have nothing to say. But I did just watch "Stargate" so my mind is not fully here yet. Man, I love that show!

**Disclaimer**: Yes! My name is John Ronald Reuel Tolkien and I am writing this wondrous work of fiction. No you dummy! My name is Vanessa and I own myself, Christy, and anything or anyone you do not recognize from John's beautiful works. He is my God!

Legolas: Can I be your God?

Me: Sure, why not? The more the merrier!

Haldir: What about me?

Me: OK!

Legolas and Haldir:  *Dance around in a circle and sing* We're Gods! We're Gods! We're Gods!

Me: Yes, and as my God, you must answer to my every whim and will.

Legolas: Such as?  
Me: You must cook my Hot Pocket.

Legolas: …

Me: You, Haldir! Umm…go clean my saddle and bridle.

Haldir: …

Me: Go on now! Scat!

Legolas: Being God isn't fun anymore.

Me: Fine be that way. I'll have to do it myself. Sissy. (I'm just kidding, you know I love them!)

"Who's that?" Gimli asked as we walked into the band hall.

I followed his finger to see who he was pointing at. "Oh, her. That's Mrs. Abbot, my band director," I answered, heading towards the instrument room.

"Are you sure she is not a 'student' as you call yourself?" Boromir asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. She's 20-something. She may look like a student but she's not. OK, hmm…you guys just stay in this room right here. I would bring you with me, but Mrs. A would get p.o.'d so, entertain yourselves and don't break anything."

After I told them this I went and got tortured by the evil band director for 55 minutes.

"I thought that class would NEVER end!!" I screamed once we were outside the band hall.

"I don't know, I kinda liked it," Aragorn told me.

_"You are _so_ lucky you're cute," I thought and just glared at him. (A/N2: Whoa, girl! You had better not be hitting on MY Hot And Sexy Ranger With A Nice Butt [AKA: HASRWANB]! You would receive a grade A ass-whooping!)_

"The music was lovely when she let you play," Merry agreed. (A/N2: He obviously has not really heard our band!)

"OK, whatever! I give up! Now it's time for Español," I replied and inform them of the next pure evil class. (A/N: I'm sorry if you like that class but we don't. I've always had bad teacher.)

"What is this new devilry?" Boromir asked.

"It's a class where we speak another language," Vanessa told the guys as we met up on the way to class. "You havin' fun, Christy?"

"Yeah, actually I am. Well, except for the face that I was tortured last period and they thought it was 'fun'. How did Legolas and Gill get along?" I asked.

"Let's just say that Gill will never look at Leggo-boi the same way again and leave it at that, please," Vanessa told me.

"This 'school' stuff isn't half bad," I heard Gandalf say. None of the fellowship agreed, with the exception of Gimli.

"They better not say that too loud," I whispered to Vanessa. "They'll get jumped!"

"I know. See ya later!" she said as she went into her Spanish room and me and my guys went into mine.

**A/N**: OK, I'm gonna leave it there cuz Vanessa wants the spiral and I don't feel like writing anymore. 

**A/N2**: Christy, I thought I was going to kiss Gim-Gim? Not that I wanted to, but you said I was gonna get some lip action! Oh well, he's too hairy for my liking anyway! Anyway, review please! They're what I eat, sleep, and breathe! And Bob the Dragon likes them too! Gotta keep the dragon happy!


	9. Spanish Class and Grumpy Elves

Chapter 9

A/N: He he he. Cool chappie, Christy! I'm so bored here at my grandparent's house. I dunno what's up with ff.net right now but it won't let me update. So, I guess if you're reading this, the problems been fixed!

Disclaimer: Nope, nada, except ourselves and the losers from our school. He he.

Legolas: Can Haldir and I go home yet?

Me: No.

Haldir: Why not?

Me: Because I'm holding you captive until I receive a ransom of $4 Million from J.R.R. Tolkien.

Haldir: But…I thought he was dead.

Me: Shh…nobody has to know.

Legolas: But I have to go to the bathroom!

Me: There's a tree over there.

Legolas: This is SO unsanitary.

I poked my head in the classroom before entering. "I hope Steve-o isn't here yet," I whispered to my group of guys.

"Who's Steve-o?" Frodo asked, looking around the room anxiously. "Is he mean?"

"No…" I replied. "He's just, how can I put this? He enjoys tormenting me in his 'special' ways."

"Does he hurt you?" Aragorn asked.

"No," I answered. "Well, guys, I don't see him here yet, so-"

"Vanessa!!!"

"Oh no," I moaned. I turned around and came face to face with Steven Williams. "Um...hi, Steven." Here's a little description of my 'friend': he has blond hair, very thin, but still buff. He's not real handsome either. Steven has a little secret: he runs his own website. His website is not a very nice one for it features not very well clothed women.

He ran up to me, and grabbed me up onto a warm embrace. "I missed you at the tree house last night."

"I told you, I'm not going to the tree house with you." I then proceeded to my seat with the 5 guys in tow.

"But I love you," he called back to me.

"Aw…I love you too. But no."

"Please? I'll let you touch my muffler."  
"Uh, no."

"Fine. Oh, by the way, you left these in my car last night." He held up a pair of shiny, thong style undergarments.

"Those are _so_ not mine." I took my seat and the guys all took seats wherever they could find them.

Mrs. Drumwright, my Spanish teacher, walked into the classroom at that moment. "Where did we leave off yesterday? Anybody?" She looked out at the students and caught sight of the guys. "Who are they? They aren't students."

"Um…They're here to grade your um…class," I said nervously.

She stared long and hard at the guys but shrugged and proceeded on with our chapter. "Repeat after me: el panqueque…"

I gave a relieved sigh, sank down in my seat, and closed my eyes. "That was close," I whispered to Pippin who was sitting next to Steven (he sits behind me). "I thought she was going to kick y'all out."

Then Legolas spoke up. "She still might send us out if you two don't shut your mouths."

"Sheesh. Grumpy old elf. What? Are you mad because that girl over there has better hair than you?"

"What?! For your information, Vanessa, she does not have nicer hair than me. I just miss Kitty."

"Ooo…Kitty, huh? I'll be sure to tell her after school today," I said jokingly.

"Don't! Peregrin, Vanessa has a little crush on you!"

"Legolas Greenleaf!" I screamed, not caring who looked up (not many because half of them were asleep). "I _cannot_ believe you just said that! I'm going to rip your little elven ears off!!" I lunged at him.

Mrs. Drumwright snapped her book shut, sighed, and left the room. She always does this when the class gets too out of control.

Steven then said, "Hey! Keep that stuff in the bedroom!"  
I gasped. "Is that all you think about?!" He grinned. "I take that as a yes. Is class almost over? Does anybody know?"

"We have…2 minutes left," Trevor said.

"Thank you, Trevor." I looked down at Pippin; he was smiling. "What?"

"You. You look beautiful when you're mad."

"Aw...he's so nice."

"Hey!" Steven interjected my romantic thoughts. "I thought you loved me!"

"That would be a no." 

Just then, the dismissal bell rang. "Yea!"

A/N: Sorry that was so long and boring. But I was tired! I just finished watching The Four Feathers. Heath Ledger is so fine! Except when he drinks that camel blood. That was a bit disturbing. Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter. Review and tell us. But, don't flame; I get enough fire from Aiden (I changed his name for those of you who don't read my live journal). Lissenen ar' maska'lalaith tenna' lye omentuve Sweet water and light laughter till we next meet


	10. Mommy!

**Chapter 10**

**A/N**: This fic is getting towards the end! Wah! OK, onward ho! (Not like that, Vanessa!)

**A/N2:** Wow, only this chapter and then mine. But don't fret; Christy has already started typing the sequel. But, the down side is, she has been grounded from the internet for the next couple weeks so it won't be up right away. If you want, we can e-mail you when it's up. Just add it to your review.

**Disclaimer:** Ha! Ha! Ha! Do you actually think we own the great things in here? Sadly, not.

Legolas: And you never will!

Me: Maybe. But I could always cut your hair, dye it, and give you new clothes and no on would know.

Haldir: You were gonna cut my hair? (Thank you to Colonel Jack O'Neill from Stargate SG-1 for that line. I love you Richard Dean Anderson!) 

Me: If it meant I was going to keep you guys, yes.

Legolas: But…but…it took us centuries to get our hair this length.

Me: Whose problem is that?

Legolas: *pouts*

Me: Good boy!

I walked into Spanish followed by all 4 guys.

"OK, um…There's only 3 open desks at the back of the class and there are four of you," I told them. "So someone's gonna have to sit on the floor."

"I get a chair," Boromir spoke up quickly. 

"OK, you get a desk. Who volunteers to sit on the floor?" I still wanted to know.

"I will," Merry offered. "Will I get to sit near you?"

"Yeah, you ca sit on the floor next to my desk. I'd sit on the floor with you but Ms. Sanders won't let me," I told him. 

"The bell has rang. What are you doing out of your desk, Señorita Turner?" Ms Saunders asked, butting into my conversation with the guys.

"I was just showing these teacher analyzers to their seats," I told her innocently, pointing to the three desks that Boromir, Aragorn, and Gimli were making their way to. I then headed to my desk, the last seat, last row, farthest one from her.

"This class is soooo boring!" I wrote on a piece of paper and passed it down to Merry.

"Aye," he wrote back. "What is she saying?" Ms. Saunders was talking in Spanish again and no one was listening, as usual.

"Who knows? No one ever pays attention; everyone sleeps. José is living (at least I think he's alive) proof of that," I scribbled back. Merry laughed quietly as he read what I wrote. The bell rang, startling the whole class awake.

"Finally! Bye Carlos," I said, passing my friend Carter and calling him by his Spanish name. "Come on guys!" Finally we made it out of the _evil class room. "Hey, Alex, Vanessa!" I greeted my friends (Alex has French, right next to my class)._

"Still hanging out with the midget I see," Alex replied with a snarky comeback.

"Aye, that she is," Merry said, pulled me down to eye level with him, and kissed me. (A/N: I wanted a hobbit kiss and I know Vanessa isn't going to give me one. Especially not after she reads what I write next. Vanessa, this is payback for the "Dom is a fag" comment I never got you back for.)

Inspired by Merry's display of affection, Gandalf reached over and pulled Vanessa to him and passionately kissed her. (A/N2: Ahhh!!!! OMG! Christy, I hate you!)

"EW!" she screamed, pulling away and Pippin tackled the wizard and started punching him.

"Never touch my woman!" he yelled. Legolas pulled the young hobbit off of Gandalf. Pippin struggled uselessly against the elf's grip and gave up.

Aragorn looked at Merry and slowly edged away from me, apparently hoping that Merry would not follow Pippin's example and pummel anyone who was close to me.

Vanessa was running around yelling that she now had "wizard cooties" and that she needed "Pippin the Repairman" to fix her. (A/N2: Inside joke, don't ask) I looked over at Alex and he was hysterical.

"You think this is funny?" I asked. He nodded, seeing as how when you can't breathe, you can't talk. I was silent for a moment and an evil glint came into my eye.

"Alex! Get your hands off me!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He looked at me, stopped laughing and looked at Merry, eyes wide with fright. To everyone's surprise, Merry did not tackle my friend. Instead he drew his sword and smacked Alex with the flat of it several times.

"Still think its funny?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"No! Mommy!" he cried running down the hall.

Ahead of us we saw Kitty and Courtney (another friend of ours). I didn't think it was possible for Legolas to smile even wider than he already was. Evidently it was because he was grinning ear-to-ear when he saw Kitty.

"Somebody's in love!" I sang to myself.

"Legolas! My honey, my baby, my husband! You came back for me!" she yelled not even noticing Alex still running around crying "mommy" as she sprinted to Legolas. In no time flat she had her arms around his neck, kissing him. At first he had a confused look on his face which then changed to a look of enjoyment.

**A/N**: OK, sucky spot to stop, I know. But Vanessa wants to write and she gets the honor of ending it. I don't want to end it! I really liked this chapter for some reason. Maybe because I got revenge on Vanessa and Alex. I think he skipped school today. Oh, and I still want to know what "Ducks, secrets, and frogs" means!

**A/N2**: I dunno if she'll ever find out what "Ducks, secrets, and frogs" means. I really don't want to end this fic; I suck at beginnings and endings. Anyway, please, please, please, please, please REVIEW! My pet dragon, Aiden, is hungry for reviews. You don't want to be the cause of a dragon's death now do you? 


	11. Repairmen and Elvis Impersonators

**Chapter 11**

**A/N:** Christy!!! I am SO mad at you! You could have picked anyone from the fellowship; but did you? No…you HAD to pick the gay, old guy. So mad. Oh well; at least I got Peregrin, The Repairman! Anyway, this is sadly, the last chapter. But do not fret! Christy already has the first 12 chapters of the sequel typed up. Personally, it's my favorite one so far. But, Christy is still grounded so it won't be up for about a week. Well, here we go!

**Disclaimer:** Nope, not in the mood.

Legolas: I like GOOOOLLLLDD!

Me: He he he. You're that guy from Austin Powers in Goldmember!

Haldir: Yeah! That guy is a pimp!

Legolas and me: Ok…

Haldir: What?! 

Me: A pimp? Since when do you classify people as pimps?  
Haldir: I dunno.

Legolas: Whatever….Bailamos!

Legolas, Haldir, and I: *Dance suggestively*

Random person: That's dirty!

Haldir: **** off.

(A/N: I don't really know what possessed me do that. It just seemed funny at the time.)

"I do believe it is time that we started for home," said Gandalf, massaging his face where a bruise was already forming.

"Do we have to?" Merry whined, looking at Christy.

"Yeah, do they have to?" Christy begged.

Then, Pippin and I emerged from one of the classrooms. "Don't do that again in my room! Save it for later!" some one yelled and slammed the door.

"He he," I snickered. "That was funny." I looked around me at the fellowship and Christy. "Um…hi guys. What's going on?" I tried to brush my hair with my hands but it didn't help.

"What…what…what were you doing in there?" Aragorn asked, flabbergasted.

"He was, um…"repairing" me. You see, I was broken and he fixed me. See, all better!" I then laughed nervously, as did Pippin.

"Whatever," Christy scoffed. "They need to go, so let's get our stuff and leave."

We headed towards our lockers. I wasn't there long before I was bombarded by little men. My friend, PJ, had throw John at me. "Hey! No fair! I can't throw him!"

We finished up at the lockers and headed towards the parking lot. "Where's Legolas?" Gimli asked.

"I dunno. He'll catch up soon enough though," I responded.

"Nessie? Where's Kits?" Christy looked around wildly hoping to find our friend.

"Oh no! We need to find that elf!"

_~~*~~_

"Kitty?" Legolas asked. They were both inside the janitor's supply closet; it was smelly (it really is!). "Will you marry me?"

"But we're already married, remember?"

"I know. But this time could we have a ceremony without the Elvis impersonator?"

"Aw…my baby!"

_~~*~~_  
"We should split up and look for them," I said walking back towards the school. "I'll take Pippin."

"No!" Christy screamed. "I can't leave you two alone together anymore. He can come with me."

"Fine. Be that way. Merry is coming with me then." Merry, Frodo, Boromir, and Gimli followed me up the stairs to search for our friends. I would've let Gandalf come, for his safety, but I was scared of him.

Pippin, Sam, Aragorn, and G(ay)andalf went with Christy down the senior hallway.

_~~*~~_

30 minutes later we all met up in the cafeteria. "Didja find them?" I asked.

"Nope. You?" Christy replied.

"Naw. Let's look around the food lines. Maybe they'll be here."

"Do you think…the janitor's closet?" Boromir asked, reading the label on the door.

"Dunno. Open it."

There were Kits and Legolas. She grinned at us. "My baby and I are getting married…again!" (A/N: Whoa! That sounds so wrong)

"Um… OK," I started. "Well, he has to go so say good-bye."

"No!" she screamed and clung to her 'husband'.

"Yes," I said firmly and began trying to pry her from the elf. She refused to let go. "Aragorn? A little help?"

He walked over and ripped her from Legolas's body. "Time to go, Legolas."

Gandalf called everyone over to touch his staff (A/N: No…not like that! Pervy!) and in a flash of light they were gone. Kits was sobbing in the corner. "My baby…my husband…"

Just then, Super Cute Boy walked by. "Oooo…see ya later, guys!"

"I think she's back to normal," I said.

"What now? Movie?" Christy asked.

"Yep. LOTR?"

"You know it." So we walked away into the parking lot and climbed into my Suburban.

**A/N:** He he he. It sux. I know. I own $2.40 in library fines thanks to John. Hope you enjoyed the story. And remember, the sequel will be up in about a week. If you would like us to e-mail you when it is up, please put that in a review or send me an e-mail to **_pippintook06@yahoo.com_**. Well, I really hope you guys liked this. 

**Preview:** It's the end of the school year! Can we say party? Christy, Me (Vanessa), Kitty, our friend Courtney, and another friend, Alex, are on our way to none other than beautiful, sunny New Zealand. And who might happen to suddenly show up? Duh! The fellowship! It's filled with humor, romance, and angst! Well, OK, I lied, no angst. But, there are a few twists that pop up between my friends and I. Read and find out what!!!


End file.
